The Unexpected Life

Recently, someone gave us a box of conversation starter cards to use with kids. The cards cover a range of topics, and have been a fun way for us to talk about some different things at our dinner table. Sometimes Finley’s answers are predictable and sometimes they catch me totally off guard. The other day we had the following conversation:

Me (reading a card): “If you woke up and were an adult, what is the first thing you would do?”

Finley (pauses for a moment to think): “I would keep sleeping!”

Me (laughing): “Why?!”

Finley: “Because adults are usually tired!”

As many people pointed out when I posted a video clip of this conversation, he doesn’t realize the reason most adults are tired is because of their kids. Even though it was just a silly, short conversation, I can’t stop thinking about it.

The first stop for my thought train, as is often the case for moms (and probably dads too), was Guilt Station. I felt bad because I don’t want my kids’ main memories of me to be that I was “usually tired.” It’s a kick in the pants to remind me to make sure I’m prioritizing sleep, exercise and other things that ensure I have enough energy to play with my kids as they grow.

After pulling away from Guilt Station, I found myself heading towards Pride Central. I know, I know. Parenting is a constant whiplash between seemingly contradictory emotions.

I was, and am still, proud of the empathy Finley displayed in his answer. We’ve talked a lot about how when he becomes an adult, he will get to decide more things for himself. We talk about how, right now, it is up to the adults in his life to make a lot of the important decisions, but once he is older that responsibility will fall to him. So, as I was reading the question, I fully expected his answer to be something along the lines of deciding to watch a show or eating whatever he wanted for breakfast. However, instead of thinking about all the things he knows he’ll be able to do as an adult, he thought about what it would feel like to be an adult. While it’s hilarious (and kind of sad) that he mainly thinks adults feel tired, I love seeing his empathy. His answer showed me something I don’t think I’d noticed before: he’s grown hugely in his ability to see a situation beyond just what he wants right here and now, and really think about what it might feel like to actually be in that situation.

Finally, my thought train pulled into Conviction Terminal. Upon realizing he would probably feel tired if he woke up as an adult, Finley wisely concluded his first action should be to continue sleeping. I know there are a lot of reasons why adults can’t just keep sleeping when they feel tired (in my house, the reason is usually two crying babies and a 5 year old asking for breakfast), but also…a lot of the time I skip over the obvious and effective solutions staring me in the face. I feel like there isn’t enough time in the day to do everything, and then spend time scrolling Instagram. I’m annoyed that my floors are dirty, something made more glaringly obvious with crawling babies who have dirt-stained knees, and end up researching vacuum-mop combos instead of spending 15 minutes using the mop I already have. Don’t get me wrong, I still want a vacuum-mop combo, but that didn’t solve my immediate problem.

Sometimes we just have to do the obvious thing and our lives would be better for it.

I’m so grateful for the opportunities I have to learn from my kids, even as I laugh at their unexpected answers.