The Unexpected Life

Another year has arrived, and with it the onslaught of messaging telling us to become better versions of ourselves. Kent and I were talking about this as New Year’s Eve approached and I asked him if he was making any resolutions this year. He said “no” with such disdain it was as though he was offended at the mere thought that he may need to better himself.

After I was finished laughing at his unusually aggressive response, we had a pretty good discussion about goal setting and the whole New Year’s resolution concept. I tend to use the change of the calendar as an opportunity to set some new goals for myself, while Kent views it as just another day.

What I realized in the course of our conversation is that there is a fundamental difference between Kent and me. He is excellent at making goals for himself, at creating healthy habits, at assessing areas where he’d like to improve and making a plan to see tangible results. And, importantly, he is great at following through on these ambitions. 

I, on the other hand, am not a natural goal-maker. I never have been. I’ve never really done well thinking years into the future. The question “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” has only ever resulted in a blank stare from me. My best answer to that is usually something along the lines of “I’ll be 5 years older…” 

And when I do manage to make some goals for myself, I don’t have a great track record of actually following through. I tend to feel like I’ve accomplished enough simply by stating the goal. It is a real problem in my life. 

Knowing this about myself, I’ve been trying to be more intentional the past few years. Particularly since becoming a mom, I’ve realized that it would be really easy to simply “survive” this stage of life. To get to the point where my kids are all a bit older and look back feeling like I didn’t do much with my time beyond simply existing. And don’t get me wrong, there are definitely days, weeks and seasons where surviving is the most I can hope for. And in fact, surviving is a huge accomplishment (I’m looking at you, newborn stage!). 

But I also think, for me at least, it would be really easy and comfortable to use that as an excuse to not do anything. You’ve probably heard some variation of this Earl Nightingale quote:

“The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.” 

You may or may not know the Dean Brody song that I alluded to in the post title (called Time). The chorus is pretty sobering:

The trouble is
You think you have time
You think tomorrows always coming down the line
And then one day
You wake up and you find
The trouble is you thought you had time

Time is one of our most precious commodities and I want to make sure I’m using it well. 

So, while I don’t believe there is any particular magic about making a goal on January 1, it does serve as a marker for me. As the whole world seems to talk about making changes and setting resolutions, it is a reminder to me to honestly assess my life so that years don’t continue to pass without any movement forward on my part. 

Instead of making sweeping and/or generic declarations like “I’m going to be healthier!” or “I’m going to read more!” or “I’m going to be braver!” I use the New Year to set SMART goals. If you’ve spent any time in a workplace setting in the past decade or so, you’ve probably heard of SMART goals. 

In this case, SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. So this isn’t a time when I try to decide on habits that I’m hoping to establish for the rest of my life (e.g., “be healthier!”). Instead, I decide what certain areas of my life will look like for the next year. Or I set specific tasks I’d like to accomplish within the year. 

Practically, this looks like taking a general idea, like I’d like to exercise more, and breaking it down into more tangible pieces. For this year I have committed to working out at least 5 days a week. I intentionally didn’t set a time minimum on those workouts. Some days, it might be as short as 10 minutes. I do have 3 small children, after all. I also set the goal of being able to do 10 push-ups by the end of the year. I’ve never in my life been able to do a full push-up, but it’s something I’ve wanted to accomplish. So this year, I will focus on that. That means I’ll make sure that push-ups, or something that supports that movement, is in every workout.

I don’t know if you’re the resolution-making type like me, or if you side with Kent in thinking January 1st is such an arbitrary time to make a change in your life. Whatever the case, I hope you’ll join me in trying to make the most of this life you’ve been given. 

Time is a finite resource and is relentless in its passing. 

When this year ends, when this season passes, when this decade is over, will you be satisfied with what you’ve done, where you’ve been, who you’ve become?